Sexual Abuse in the Ministerial Relationship

Clergy Misconduct: Sexual Abuse in the Ministerial Relationship.

---that was the name of an all day seminar which I attended yesterday. It is required by the seminary, and it is free. These seminars are run by the Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence, out of Seattle, Washington. www.cpsdv.org

It was powerful and useful and enlightening.
There was a lot of confrontational material.
I cried during some of it.
I kept wondering how many seminaries require this. I kept wondering if the General Church theological school does. (My religious heritage. They do not ordain women.)

They listed all the effects and outcomes of abuse on all the different parties and groups involved. They showed a continuum of abuse on a sliding scale from "wanderers" to "predators."

They listed the traits that are typical of sexual abusers in the ministry.
They are:

1. controlling or dominating personality
2. limited self-awareness
3. limited or no awareness of boundary issues
4. no sense of damage caused by own behaviour
5. poor judgment
6. limited impulse control
7. limited understanding of consequences of their actions
8. often charismatic, sensitive, talented, inspirational and effective in ministry
9. limited or no awareness of own power
10. lack of recognition of own sexual feelings
11. confusion of sex and affection

Then they listed behaviours common to all abusers which are:

1. may seek out vulnerable people
2. attract vulnerable people
3. are secretive
4. are manipulative
5. will minimize, rationalize, deny, and blame

They said that Sexual abuse is about Power.

It is NEVER okay.

It is ALWAYS the responsibility of the perpetrator.

It is NEVER simple.

They talked about what to do WHEN, not IF we feel attraction to a parishioner. I was really impressed.

There was so much more. I was filled up, and frustrated to have so little time to assimilate all the information.

But I am SO grateful that there are people studying this and getting the word out.

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I have nowhere near enough time for all the required reading for my courses. I am really liking the feeling in the seminary. Despite some (profound) ideological differences, we are kindred spirits. The humour and energy is very familiar.

I'm enjoying my professor of Greek and New Testament. He seems as if he'll be the easiest to talk to about my Swedenborgian world view. It is nice to have someone who will let me chatter on about how I see things, and who acts genuinely interested.

I puzzle about personal energy and chemistry. I have been musing on why I feel uncomfortable with my OT professor. It's like a prejudice on my part. I assume she is not interested in what I have to say. I don't know why.

The same is true in my Christian Doctrine class.

The Christian Doctrine reading is driving me nuts. Pages and pages of stuff that is culturally interesting but not ideologically interesting or enlightening, due to my deep intrenchment in the Swedenborgian view of theology. I struggle every class to sit still and not take up too much class time with my thoughts and observations. ("Oh, Marilla. If only you knew how much there is I think of to say and don't!") Again, my NT and Greek professor is very encouraging and interested in what I have to say, so I say more in those classes. But the Christian Doctrine class is primarily LUTHERAN Christian doctrine, written as if it is the only Christian spin. I guess that is to be expected---it is a LUTHERAN seminary after all.

On the other hand, there are lots of generals about the Lutherans that feel very familiar---the rich musical culture in worship. Lots of singing---even chanting and antiphons!

They also stress the importance of baptism and the Holy supper---I've been offered Eucharist 4 times since starting seminary---the oneness of God in the form of Jesus Christ, and the importance of scripture. They also seem to be doing a terrific job of updating their ritual to meet the needs of the culture without sacrificing their doctrinal integrity.

But their doctrinal integrity isn't harnessed to the past and the rituals from the past. They seem to keep the antiphons and chants because they love them and do them well, not because "they have always done them."

I am LOVING my class with George Dole. When it starts, I feel like I can finally breathe. These people know what I'm talking about! The Swedenborgian context is a given. What a difference it makes.

It's all so interesting. So much to observe and ponder. SO much more to say.

instead, back to my homework!